365 Horror Movie http://www.acyqgs.live Thu, 05 Jul 2012 17:59:01 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.8.3 Night Flier, Graveyard Shift, Ithttp://www.acyqgs.live/2012/07/05/night-flier-graveyard-shift-it/ http://www.acyqgs.live/2012/07/05/night-flier-graveyard-shift-it/#comments Thu, 05 Jul 2012 17:56:23 +0000 http://www.acyqgs.live/?p=2701 Three mini reviews, which are part of my 60 days of Stephen King summer movie project.

The Night Flier

The best and worst feature of this film is how difficult it is to categorize. On one hand it’s about a sleazy journalist (think National Enquirer, TMZ) trying to stay on t

op and on the other it’s bout a vampire pilot with an affinity for brutally murdering small town folk. Both plotlines are given equal time and, honestly, both could be separate movies in their own right. But that’s also the flaw, not enough time is given to one or the other to allow the audience to really sink their teeth either. But I don’t care, this one has enough creepy imagery to scare the piss out of 13 year old me and the baddie is a truly frightening looking dude. Throw in an amazing performance by Stephen King adaptation regular, Miguel Ferrer (Twin Peaks, Robocop) and you have one of the better low budget adaptations of King’s work.

 

Graveyard Shift

Another flick with a strong male character and performance, this time it’s from Stephen Macht (Monster Squad, Crucible), who plays the asshole boss of a rat-infested textile mill in Podunk, Nowheresville. The plot is a little goofy even by Stephen King standards, though not anywhere near the goofballness of Trucks. A drifter takes a job as part of the overnight cleanup crew responsible for clearing out up what Dante described as “too hot, humid and horrible to be considered for a circle in hell.?To make matters worse, rats are everywhere and they like to push people into the “wool picker?which is basically one of the most horrific deaths one can imagine. To make matters even worse, there is a very big and very pissed of subterranean monster living in the bowels of the mill as well.

This film has a little bit of everything: Rampant sexism (mostly courtesy Mr. Macht), a crazy comic relief pest exterminator, a cemetery and a down on his luck hero who must transform into a total badass just to survive. Plus it ends with a rather fun?0s cheeseball song.

 

IT

This is the movie that was responsible for ruining my childhood. Before this movie I lived in the perfect American suburban bubble of kidhood. I played with friends, roamed the streets and had zero cares. But then my family moved into a new house across town. That very first night in the new house full of dark corners and unfamiliar shadows, a brand new mini-series was premiering. Fully sensing that my mother was exhausted from the move and in no condition to argue with me I convinced her to let me watch Stephen King’s IT.

I didn’t sleep a single wink for a month. Instead, I stayed up late and devised traps that would slow down Pennywise the Killer Clown. For example, I would place a stuffed animal where my head should have been on the pillow. I would cover up the animal and sleep at the base of the pillow, under the covers. The thought being that if Pennywise tried to chop my head off with an axe that he would get the stuffed animal first, freeing me to escape. By year’s end I had no less than 20 traps set up around the house and in my backyard fort to keep me safe (keep in mind Home Alone came out this same year). And I’m happy to say that besides hundreds of hours of lost sleep the bastard never got me ?though the cat often walked into my traps and left pissed.

Fast forward to last night. The movie certainly doesn’t hold up, but because of my previous trauma I still had a goddamn nightmare about Pennywise. The only other thing I have to say about this film is RIP John Ritter.

 Trailers:

 

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Carriehttp://www.acyqgs.live/2012/07/02/carrie/ http://www.acyqgs.live/2012/07/02/carrie/#comments Mon, 02 Jul 2012 17:25:54 +0000 http://www.acyqgs.live/?p=2699 I’m not entirely sure I’d ever seen this flick uncut until tonight. It’s one of those that has been on cable constantly and so popular in modern culture that the original version was never high on my list. Moral of that story is that I was shocked a bit by the amount of nudity and menstrual blood contained in the first five minutes.

In case you’ve had an overprotective mother who has shielded you from everything and locked you inside a world of shame and self loathing you probably know the plot to this Brian De Palma flick. It’s about a girl who has an overprotective mother who shields her from the real world causing her to be a freak that the dumb bitches at school all laugh at. Thing is, Carrie has telekinetic powers that are getting bigger, messier and bloodier – just like her period.

Carrie deals with a horn of plenty of teenage problems and does so with a rawness that contributes to its staying power. When a movie feels real, looks real and is genuine, like this one, it transcends genres and audiences. When a horror movie does this it’s something rare and is to be celebrated. And Carrie has certainly been celebrated over the years. It’s widely considered one of the best high school horror flicks and is well represented on many best of all time lists, including clocking in at number eight on cinephile Quentin Tarantino’s all time favorites list. Even more impressive, Roger Ebert actually liked this film. Of course, it’s being remade (again) with Chloe Moretz (Let Me In, Kick Ass) in the titular role.

While I love this film for about a bajillion reasons, it could easily be considered slow by modern standards. A large percentage of the film is in slow-mo, which can be considered by some to make the film drag. I’d argue that and say the intense score combined with slowed pace only heightens the suspense. The moments leading up to the infamous pig blood prom queen massacre scene are some of the most terrifying and tense ever put to film. It’s so effective and devastatingly tragic because of the prolonged build up and prior character setup.

This film is also exceptionally rare because of how it makes you feel about the supposed evil that Carrie unleashes. Did the kids push her so far to deserve what they got? Maybe. But many other innocents, including some truly kind-hearted folk end up on the business end of Carrie’s murderous powers. It’s easy to root for the villains to get theirs, but it’s a tougher pill to swallow when the people you invest time into go bye bye. And then Carrie herself is a whole different monster. Do you let her off the hook? Hold her accountable? She like a bull in a china shop. One wrong move and the whole place gets smashed. But is that really her fault? I’ve seen this film several times overall and I’m still not sure. Another reason why I love it. It presents such tough questions to the viewer, none of which have simple answers.

Bottom line, Carrie is a phenomenal film that deserves every accolade that has ever been bestowed upon it.

Lesson learned: Don’t mess with teenage girls. They be scary.

 

Rating: 9.5/10

Snore Factor: ZZZZ’s

IMDb 1976

 

Trailer:

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60 Days of Stephen King Movieshttp://www.acyqgs.live/2012/06/20/stephen-king-movie-project/ http://www.acyqgs.live/2012/06/20/stephen-king-movie-project/#comments Thu, 21 Jun 2012 01:35:16 +0000 http://www.acyqgs.live/?p=2693

I’ve been woefully absent from this blog in recent months. And while the reason is good (my other blog is growing like crazy), I wanted to do another fun horror centric project this summer. As some of you may know this blog originally started when I decided to watch and review 365 horror flicks over the course of a year. I completed that challenge back in March of 2011 and quite frankly was burned out on reviewing. I was like a fat kid who got loose in a cake store or a frat guy and a gallon of Southern Comfort, I had so much that I almost never wanted to touch the stuff again. But eff that. I wanna get puke sick on horror again.

Enter Stephen King and the insane amount of movies based on his literature.

Going back to my blog roots, I am going to watch and review as many Stephen King based movies thru August 31st as humanly possible. So, I made a list of all the Stephen King stuff I own. It’s 64 movies. I am going to start old and work my to the new. First review will be posted on July 1st.

Happy First Day Of Summer, Bitches!

Stephen King Summer Movie Viewing List:

2011 Bag of Bones (TV mini-series)

2009 Dolan’s Cadillac (short story)

2007 The Mist (novella)

2007 1408 (short story)

2006 Nightmares & Dreamscapes: From the Stories of Stephen King (TV mini-series)

2004 Riding the Bullet (novella “Riding the Bullet”)

2004 ‘Salem’s Lot (TV movie) (novel “Salem’s Lot”)

2004 Secret Window (novella “Four Past Midnight: Secret Window, Secret Garden”)

2003 The Diary of Ellen Rimbauer (TV movie) (characters)

2003 Dreamcatcher (novel “Dreamcatcher”)

2002 The Dead Zone (video) (novel)

2002 Rose Red (TV mini-series)

2001 Children of the Corn: Revelation (video) (characters)

1999 Children of the Corn 666: Isaac’s Return (video) (short story “Children of the Corn”)

1999 The Rage: Carrie 2 (characters)

1999 Storm of the Century (TV mini-series)

1998 Sometimes They Come Back… for More (video) (characters)

1998 Apt Pupil (novella “Apt Pupil”)

1998 Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror (video) (short story “Children of the Corn”)

1997 Trucks (TV movie) (short story)

1997 Quicksilver Highway (TV movie) (short story “Chattery Teeth”)

1997 The Shining (TV mini-series)

1997 The Night Flier (story)

1996 Thinner (novel)

1996 Sometimes They Come Back… Again (video) (characters)

1996 Children of the Corn: The Gathering (video) (short story “Children of the Corn”)

1995 The Langoliers (TV series) (novella “From Four Past Midnight”)

1995 Dolores Claiborne (book)

1995 The Mangler (short story)

1995 Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (short story “Children of the Corn”)

1994 The Shawshank Redemption (short story “Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption”)

1994 Nightshift Collection (video) (story)

1994 The Stand (TV mini-series)

1993 Needful Things (book)

1993 The Tommyknockers (TV mini-series) (novel)

1993 The Dark Half (novel “The Dark Half”)

1992 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (short story “Children of the Corn”)

1992 Sleepwalkers (written by)

1992 The Lawnmower Man (title only / credit removed following lawsuit)

1991 Golden Years (TV series)

1991 Sometimes They Come Back (TV movie) (short story)

1990 Misery (novel “Misery”)

1990 It (TV mini-series) (novel)

1990 Graveyard Shift (short story)

1990 Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (short story / segment “Cat From Hell”)

1989 Pet Sematary (novel / screenplay)

1988 Carrie (video) (novel)

1987 The Running Man (novel / as Richard Bachman

1987 A Return to Salem’s Lot (characters)

1987 Creepshow 2 (stories)

1987 The Lawnmower Man (short) (short story)

1986 Stand by Me (novella “The Body”)

1986 Maximum Overdrive (short story “Trucks” / written by)

1985 Silver Bullet (novella “Cycle of the Werewolf”)

1985 Cat’s Eye (screenplay)

1984 Firestarter (novel)

1984 Children of the Corn (short story)

1983 Christine (novel)

1983 The Dead Zone (novel)

1983 Cujo (novel)

1982 Creepshow (screenplay / short stories “The Crate and Weeds” – uncredited)

1980 The Shining (novel)

1979 Salem’s Lot (TV series) (novel)

1976 Carrie (novel)

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Top 10 Horror Movies of 2012 (So Far….)http://www.acyqgs.live/2012/05/07/top-10-horror-movies-of-2012-so-far/ http://www.acyqgs.live/2012/05/07/top-10-horror-movies-of-2012-so-far/#comments Tue, 08 May 2012 04:16:50 +0000 http://www.acyqgs.live/?p=2690 First, some thoughts on some films that didn’t make my top 10. The ironic faux Grindhouse flicks are still as popular as ever. While Dear God No! (Feb 23rd) was a dud, Father’s Day‘s (Jan 13th) third act blew my pants off (in a good way) – even with its unevenness and obsession with pine tree jokes. The Theater Bizarre (April 23rd) deserves a mention because there are simply not enough horror anthologies. And while Bizarre’s segments are all over the place in quality I particularly enjoyed “The Accident” for its atmosphere and “Vision Stains” for its concept. Asylum gave us Nazis at the Center of the Earth which made the least amount of sense ever for an Asylum movie which automatically makes it one of their best efforts, though amazingly, not even their best film of the year (2-Headed Shark Attack). Earlier in the year I went on a Leprechaun / drinking binge and tried to watch the whole series in one night (Spoiler: I didn’t make it), but that same weekend I also spied Leprechaun’s Revenge on the television from Drew Daywalt (A master of the short horror format) which was pretty damn great for a direct to TV flick. Underworld: Awakening must have had input from Michael Bay and The Raven was yet another bastardized literary knock-off, not unlike the Sherlock Downey films.

As far as the worst films of the year, The Devil Inside and The Wicker Tree are runaway “winners” so far. Devil’s ending had people booing at the Hollywood premiere (that the director and stars attended). Yep. That bad. And Wicker is simply an abomination that makes the Nic Cage version look like Raging Bull. Stay far, far away. I am pleading with you.

Alright, enough with the pretenders. This list reflects my favorites from Jan 1st – May 7th, 2012. Nothing more. Nothing less.

 

10. 2-Headed Shark Attack (Jan 17th)

You get Carmen Electra, The lesser O’Connell brother (Charlie), horny co-eds and, obviously, a 2-headed shark attacking anything that movies. What separates this from previous Asylum “Mega” movies is that it’s simply more fun. And it feels more like a complete movie than their usual hack job crap (though fun) and does well to remind viewers of the classic bad monster movies of the ’60s and ’70s.

9. Mother’s Day (May 4th Theatrical)

Darren Lynn Bousman may be the director of all the Saw movies that suck (2,3,4), but he’s also the creator of the Repo! The Genetic Opera, a personal favorite of mine. This remake of the classic film in no ways destroys or cheapens the original. And to me, that’s pretty damn impressive.

8. The Divide (April 17th DVD)

The Divide  is a bleak as f*ck take on the apocalyptic genre. It might make you vomit or wish you could. It’s nasty, brutal and in your face.

7. Silent House (March 9th)

It’s not often when you watch a movie you can say you literally saw a star bloom before your eyes, but that’s what happens with Elizabeth Olsen in this remake of a 2010 film. Lizzy absolutely kills it. The films plays quite scary until a rather weak third act. But that’s overlooked in this case because of both the impressive technical merit (it’s designed to look like one long take) and Lizzy’s acting chops.

6. Kill List (Jan 4 VOD)

The less you know the better, just prepare yourself for an experience you won’t soon forget. This one appeared on many top 10 lists (often #1 or 2) for festival flicks from last year. I wasn’t that sold, but it may rise up even further on my year end list because the more I think about the more I like it.

5. The Innkeepers (Feb 3rd)

Good ole fashioned haunted hotel movie from director Ti West (or as my friend calls him T.I. West). The Innkeepers concludes with a satisfying and terrifying final 10 minutes, something pretty rare in a business that so often insists on prepping for the inevitable cash cow sequel.

4. The Woman in Black (Feb 10th)

Speaking of good ole fashioned horror flicks, Hammer horror showed their return to glory wasn’t going to be short lived. Daniel Radcliffe is excellent in his first post-Potter role, the scares are genuine and the atmosphere is to die for. One of the few films on the list to make the hair on my arms stand to attention.

3. Rabies (Feb 28th)

Just watch it. You won’t be disappointed. It’s original. Scary. Great.

2. The Grey (Jan 27th)

So much more than just Liam Neeson punching wolves. It’s an existential trip through the human mind with horror elements. In other words, a thinking man’s horror flick which also has Liam Neeson punching wolves. For my money, it doesn’t get much better than that. The Grey also features one of the most realistic and terrifying plane crashes ever put to film.

1. The Cabin in the Woods (April 12th)

Easily the best horror film of the year so far is also the best horror comedy film in ages. An deconstructionist masterpiece from Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon.

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Smartest Scientist Ever

*Please watch the film before reading this review. It’s too insane not to spoil some of the finer points.

It’s nice to finally find out what really happened to the Nazis after WWII. Sure, indisputable facts are one thing, but only rubes believe in those. Thanks to The Asylum, the real truth is finally unveiled and guess what, it’s frightening. Turns out the Nazis have been hiding in the secret base below the Antarctic in the center of the earth. Oh f*ckballs!

Jake Busey, who was hired presumably for his ability to look like the most Aryan dude on Earth, plays Dr. Adrian Reistad, head doctor guy at research lab or some sort of similar nonsense in the Antarctic. A bunch of cliched Americans brainiacs are there, including one who, like any true American would do, saves a baseball through all sorts of torture, murder and running around in the middle of the Earth for just the right moment to take out a Nazi with said baseball. FDR would be proud. But I digress. People trust Jake Busey, yes I know, that sounds like an awful idea, and it is, because he is actually a bad guy in disguise. The Americans find out too late, when one of their faces is cut off by the Nazis.

See, the Nazis are awesomely advanced like one would suspect for a group hiding for 60+ years in the middle of the Earth with limited supplies and pretty much unanimous hatred by all nations. Hell, they’ve even invented some sort of Ion Laser Blast guns that disintegrate any human targets upon touch but have no impact to the surrounding environment when misfired. But they have one problem. Icky Face. Yep. All their best scientists can’t figure out how to keep the reborn Nazi army from turning into bad green makeup jobs. It’s always the little things that trip up the best laid plans. Icky Face plot lines take up roughly 50% of the movie because the thing about Americans is they have faces and the Nazis need faces.

Icky Face

Also important, and spoilery, is the old timey steampunk tank looking thing of which Jake Busey and Josef Mengele (His Wiki page is wrong, he didn’t die in 1979. Stupid Wikipedia, they let any old idiot update it) keep injecting stem cells into. This is where it gets a little weird. Busey murders his own unborn child to harvest the juicy baby stem cells and promptly injects them into the tank. The tank rumbles and then turns into a highly advanced Decepticon. But not just any Decepticon, it’s MOTHER F*CKING Hitler’s head attached to a robot body. Think the floating heads from Futurama meets some sort of Terminator body. Who knew? All that was needed to bring back Adolf was was unborn baby fetus cells. In retrospect, we all should have seen that one coming.

From here it gets a little weirder.

Hitler Robot shows off his awesomeness by decapitating a dude with his sword arm (one of his many attachments). Yeah. Same old Hitler. Suck a prick. At then the entire underground base also goes Decepticon and turns into a spaceship. I know what you’re thinking and your’e right, a spaceship makes absolute sense and is totally more believable than Jake Busey as a scientist doctor guy.

Probably one of the more historically accurate films based on the Nazis ever made. The Asylum has done their duty to bring forth this mostly true story (the love stories were made up because people need that in a flick) and for that they should be congratulated. Also because f*ck Nazis.

 

Rating: 7.5 Batsh*t Crazies out of 10

Snore Factor:  ZZZ

IMDB 2012

Trailer:

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